The Incident With The Hummus & The Sofa

In spite of everything I know to be true, it's sometimes tough to tell if I've made real changes over the past several months.  For example: when I sit on my sofa at the end of a particularly stressful day and eat an entire tub of hummus with an entire bag of baby carrots, it doesn't feel that different from the days when I sat on my sofa and ate an entire Big Mac Extra Value Meal followed by a 6-piece order of Chicken McNuggets (for variety).  I am a bit ashamed to admit I had a hummus binge last week that wrecked me for a day or so and left me doubting my ability to make real changes.

So, the binge and the self-loathing it allowed felt very familiar to me.  What was different was what happened about 36 hours after the binge.  I forgave myself.  I realized that people slip.  I admitted that, while a binge is definitely cause for concern for people like me, a binge on hummus and carrots is so much better than a binge on pizza and milkshakes.

Further proof that something, indeed, is different: 2 days after the incident with the hummus and the sofa, I ran 2 laps around Lake Merritt (6.2 miles).  And 3 days after that run, I did a 10k (also 6.2 miles) in Golden Gate Park.  w00t!  My time wasn't amazing: I finished in 1:13:57, which works out to about 12 minutes per mile.  The great thing is that I finished, I didn't stop running the entire time and I felt pretty great afterward.  See?  I almost look stoned in this photo. (I assure you, I am not.)

The most amazing thing about becoming more fit isn't watching the number on the scale drop or buying a new wardrobe, but moving through the world more effortlessly.  My burden is lighter, in spirit, body and mind.  I find that I am a more attentive friend, a more caring daughter and a more focused & dedicated employee when my thoughts aren't dominated by the heft of what I am carrying.

And best of all, despite that late-night encounter with garbanzo beans, I lost 3.4 pounds last week. Phew!