Monday, April 4, 2011

Another Weekend, Another Run

There's one question I've asked myself over and over the past few weeks: "Who do I think I am?"  I don't mean this in the existential, "Why are we here, blah, blah, blah" way (although I am prone to such pontification/navel-gazing).  What I mean is, "Who the hell is this runner who's overtaken my body?"

The reason for all this angst:  I did another run yesterday.  It was a 10-miler in Washington, DC -- The Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run.  And it was lovely.  And if I were more like the amazing Bitch Cakes I would have brought a camera to show you some of the amazing sights on the course/in our nation's capital.  You will have to take my word for it, but I will tell you about the top 3:
  1. Gorgeous cherry blossom trees in full-bloom dotted the course.  Honestly, it was like looking at little cones of white cotton candy for 10 miles.  Gorgeous.  
  2. National landmarks (of course).  Washington Monument.  U.S. Capitol.  The White House.  I am a total nerd and I get really choked-up when I think about the generations of sacrifice that went into creating this amazing American experiment.  Imagine: 15,000 runners -- almost 2/3 of them women -- running past these symbols of who we are as a nation, then moving forward.  I know.  Total dork.  But I love being an American.
  3.  My friends!  I didn't enter this run solely because I'm a patriotic nerd.  Many of my favorite people on the planet live in DC, so it was a great excuse to schedule a visit to see them.  Among those friends is Glenn, who is my -- wait for it -- boyfriend.  I know.  It's totally weird to me, too.  The last time I had a boyfriend, I was dying my hair black and trying to become a vampire or something.  I also got to spend a lot of QT with my true love/hero/role model, Clayton, and with one of my closest friends on Earth, Kyle and his wonderful/amazing/wish-I'd-found-her-first wife, Sarah.
So, Glenn took some pictures along the race course...
Here I am running to the finish line (That'e me with the aqua long sleeves and navy blue t-shirt... I picked up the pace quite a bit at the end)...
 And here I am before we started...
I'm comparing how I look now to how I looked after the Run Wild For A Child 10K in San Francisco back in November, which is the run that gave me the confidence to do this 10-miler and last weekend's half-marathon.

April 3, 2011/169 lbs.


November 28, 2010/192 lbs.
This is really a comparison I needed to see myself because, as I mentioned, I hit a little bit of a plateau a few weeks ago and was doubting whether I'd really changed much in appearance lately.  My mind was playing tricks on me.  But the camera doesn't lie... and for the first time, that fact is bringing me comfort instead of humiliation.
I finished yesterday's 10-miler in 1:42:04, which is a 10 minute 13 second mile.  Yay me!

Further adding to the "who do I think I am?" mentality, I have enrolled in three more long runs: the Presidio 10-Mile Run on April 17, the See Jane Run Half-Marathon on June 5 & the SF Half-Marathon on July 31 (I've entered to run the 2nd half).  I also plan to enter the raffle to participate in the Nike Women's Half Marathon in October (fingers crossed).

Excuse the broken record, but I just can't believe this is me.  I'm not talking about the photos.  I mean the everything.   One year ago, I was pathetically lazy.  I would wake up every morning and tell myself, "This is it.  I am turning things around today!"  But I had no real course of action, so I would skip meals until about 7pm, by which time I was starving, then I'd convince myself to abandon the half-hearted and unrealistic change to which I'd committed that morning and proceed to order take-out, eat the whole thing, then drive home from work at 12am and stop at a drive-through along the way for another huge portion of food.  It is shocking how much I used to eat and how little I moved my body. 

While the person I am today feels totally different from the person I was then, I still don't feel like the runner/athlete this blog makes it seem like I am.  It's very weird, and I guess I'll need to work on reconciling who I was and who I'm becoming as parts of who I am now in order to really move on. 

Trippy, huh?  Told you I'm a dork.

2 comments:

  1. For me, I was totally shocked when I realized that I felt BAD when I didn't workout for a couple of days. I don't drag myself to the gym or out on a run in order to get skinnier...now I do it because it FEELS GOOD. I remember my uber-healthy SIL saying that once and all I could think was that she was crazy. And now I go on a run when I'm on vacation because it makes me feel awesomesauce. So trippy.

    Jealous of your DC run - sounds amazing!

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  2. :) Enjoy the power. Not just the power of becoming an athlete, but (more importantly) the power of changing your life. It's all you... and you deserve it!

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